


Light One Candle

by kirani



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Bittersweet, Gen, Hanukkah, Jewish!Noah, Latkes, Memories, Menorah, S'vivon | Dreidel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:42:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21903190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani/pseuds/kirani
Summary: Noah remembers Chanukkah when he was alive and makes new memories with his friends, even if he can't keep them forever.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	Light One Candle

**Author's Note:**

> so this got a lot angstier than i had originally set out to write but i do like how it turned out so i'm posting anyway. chag sameach y'all, let's get sad about Noah.
> 
> Note: a "chanukkiah" is a chanukkah menorah. the "menorah" is traditionally the 7 branched lamp in the ancient temple (and that Moses made in the desert).

“Do you like Christmas, Noah?” Blue asked, drawing him into the conversation. He hadn’t really been paying attention. “I bet you do, all that glitter.” 

Noah thought about it for a moment, trying to remember celebrating with his family when he had been alive. He remembered lights and food and… no, this wasn’t right. It was more like —

Ah, there it was. 

“I’m Jewish,” Noah answered, feeling the words settle over him. “But I like Chanukkah. I remember Chanukkah. The candles, the games, the food — well, I used to like the food.”

“Oh,” Blue said. Noah shrank back. He could feel Blue’s sadness. He hadn’t meant to make her sad! Noah fought not to disappear as Gansey reached out and took his hand.

“Would you like to celebrate with us this year?” Gansey asked carefully, so carefully. 

“What?” Noah asked. 

“I’m… well, I’m not sure about all the traditions but I’ll look it up and figure it out. You should be able to celebrate. You like Chanukkah, so we’ll make Chanukkah for you.”

Noah smiled at last. “I’d like that.”

Noah found Gansey on his bed later, immersed in a book. 

“What’s that?” 

Gansey looked up, startled. “Didn’t hear you there. I’m reading up on Chanukkah.”

“Oh.” Noah wasn’t sure why he was surprised; when Gansey committed to something he really did. “What have you learned?”

“How to light the candles and the prayers and things. It’s not a major holiday, really.”

“No,” Noah confirmed. “But it’s close to Christmas so it got bigger. And it’s fun.”

Gansey nodded, running his thumb along his lip. “There’s a lot to get ready. The first night is a Saturday so we can celebrate then, alright?”

“Okay,” Noah smiled. 

The next time he found them, Gansey and Ronan were opening a box. “What’s that?” 

“Dick ordered a Menorah.”

Noah peered into the box and found a simple chanukkiah, silver with a plain base. “It’s nice.”

Ronan took it from the box and shined it on his jacket sleeve before holding it up for inspection. “It’ll do.” 

Gansey grinned at both of them. 

The day of the first night, Blue arrived with a foil pan, the kind you roast a turkey in, and pushed into the kitchen-bathroom-laundry. 

“What’s she doing?” He asked Adam, who had followed her in. 

“She didn’t trust us to make latkes so she made them at home and brought them here. 

“I can’t eat them,” Noah pointed out, unnecessarily.

“It’ll smell good enough, I hope,” Adam said. “Here, I brought you something.”

From his pocket, he pulled a tiny dreidel and a bag of gelt. He dropped it into Noah’s hands. 

“Oh,” Noah smiled, rubbing a finger over the painted wood. The letters had a faint glitter to them and it winked at him. “Thank you.” 

Adam nodded. 

Gansey called to all of them and brought their attention to the chanukkiah he had set in one of Monmouth’s enormous windows. 

“I believe it’s time to light the candles. Noah, do you want to?”

“You can. I don’t want to drop them.” He was nervous enough about being the center of attention that he was afraid of disappearing. Blue stepped to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“You can use my energy, Noah.” 

He stepped up closer to the table and watched as Gansey put two candles in the chanukkiah, one in the middle and one on the far right. “The prayers now, right Noah?”

“Yes,” he nodded, then began to sing, the words coming to him as if out of a dream. “Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.” 

By the time he finished the first blessing, he was starting to feel warm and like he might cry if he could still produce tears. He began the second blessing. 

“Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, she-asah nisim laavoteinu v’imoteinu bayamim hahaeim baz’man hazeh.”

He really did feel like crying now and he reached out blindly in both directions. Hands clasped around his own as his heart swelled in his chest. He began the final blessing, said only on the first night. 

“Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higiyanu laz'man hazeh.”

Feeling stronger now, he took the offered matchbook from Gansey and lit the shamash candle, before shaking out the match and using the shamash to light the first candle. He placed the shamash back in the center and turned to his friends. Blue was crying a little and immediately pulled him into a hug. 

“It was beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us,” she said into his sweater. 

Noah smiled into her hair. 

Gansey opened up one of his books. 

“I understand part of the tradition is to tell the story of the miracle of Chanukkah. Would you like to tell it, Noah? Or would you like it if I read?”

“You read it. You’ll tell it better than me, anyway.” He leaned into Blue and she wrapped an arm around him as Gansey began to read. His reading told of the Maccabees rising up against Antiochus to take back the temple and finding only enough oil to keep the eternal flame alight for one day. But the oil lasted eight days until new oil was available. 

“The miracle of Chanukkah,” Noah whispered. 

Gansey looked up from his book. “Happy Chanukkah, Noah,” he said into the quiet evening. 

“Chag Sameach,” Noah whispered back. 

They all ate the latkes Blue had made and the scent filled his mind with more memories. They all argued about applesauce and sour cream on their latkes and Noah felt like he was back home with his sisters (Rachel liked applesauce, Abby liked sour cream, Noah likes to mix them together just to get a rise out of them). 

The group played dreidel for a while but Noah kept getting distracted. Eventually, they let him pull away from the group and he settled in front of the chanukkiah. He watched the flames as the candles burned down, letting the memories of doing the same as a kid wash over him. He wondered if he was a bit like that flame, only enough energy for one last message but he’d been able to stay around so much longer. Long enough to find all these wonderful friends and celebrate with them together. 

He wondered how much longer his oil would last. 

Someone wrapped an arm around him and he turned to find Gansey. “You alright?” 

Noah looked past him and found the others watching him. “Just thinking.”

“Come think with us?” Adam asked. 

Noah smiled and rejoined the group. They let him take his time and finally, he said, “I was just thinking that I’m glad I got to celebrate with you all.” 

“We’re glad, too,” Adam said. 

They struck up another round of dreidel and Noah let himself be pulled into the joy of being with his friends. 

“I love you guys,” he murmured as he hugged Blue and Adam goodbye later that evening. 

“We love you too, Noah,” Blue said. “Did you have a good Chanukkah?”

“The best.” 

And it was. He knew, now, that his own miracle had been worth it for this night and these people, no matter when it ran out. 

**Author's Note:**

> transliterations are from [reformjudaism.org](https://reformjudaism.org/practice/prayers-blessings/hanukkah-blessings) which also has more info if you want to learn
> 
> I'm at [blueseyforthesoul](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you wanna come cry about Jewish Noah with me


End file.
